The Paragraph Stacker

Uncensored columns from an exiled newsmane

My friend Mandy Stadtmiller suggested I watch an episode of the British TV series “Black Mirror.” She told me the show is an “anthology of dystopias.” Mandy is an author. That’s the kind of thing authors say.

She explained it was kind of like “The Twilight Zone,” only more depressing.

I avoid depressing things for entertainment. I live with depression. I feel no need to pour it in my brain through my eyes and ears.

I don’t listen to Coldplay or Morrisey. I saw “Schindler’s List” just once. I prefer fantasies where the good guys win and the lines of good and evil are clearly delineated.

Still, Mandy is very smart. I trust her recommendations. So, I watched the first episode of the third series, called “Nosedive.”

The story takes place in a not-too-distant future where people’s value is determined by their social rating. Bryce Dallas Howard plays Lacie, a young woman desperate to raise her 4.2 rating to 4.5 to get a discount on an apartment.

Lacie receives an invitation to the wedding of her childhood friend, who rates a 4.8 and has a guestlist of highly rated luminaries.

Lacie believes if she can just nail her maid-of-honor speech she will collect enough positive ratings to improve her social status.

Perhaps predictably, things break bad for Lacie as she travels to the wedding and her social rating plummets so far that she’s disinvited from the wedding.

Lacie shows up anyway and melts down in front of the crowd. The crowd decimates her social rating and she’s arrested.

In jail, cut off from the social rating system, Lacie and another prisoner playfully trade profanities and insults free from the worry of losing any status.

The episode is funny in parts. Cherry Jones plays a truckdriver with a downhome, who-gives-a-fuck mentality that brightens what is otherwise a terrifying look at how desperately we crave approval through social media.

The episode is good speculative fiction. It pushes the present slightly forward and only a bit askew.

I found the episode revelatory in how well it portrayed the tremendous burden social media places on people.

As I continue to detoxify from a career in journalism, I start to realize how much anxiety and depression the final years of my career produced.

Allow me to preface this: What I went through at my former shop is a story repeated in scores of newsrooms across the nation as the trade copes with staggering and likely catastrophic changes.

I hold no specific grudges against my former employer. How things ended for me there could have easily been repeated at any other newspaper in any other city. It only hurt more because this was my hometown paper.

The industry changed so drastically in the second decade of my career that I barely recognized my trade. I did not make the adjustment quickly enough to survive. I’m not sure survival was even possible. So it goes.

It just came to pass that the thing I wanted to do since I was a boy was not a thing that existed in the modern world. I was a village blacksmith wandering through town looking for an anvil while the cars zoomed by.

For a while, there was a TV screen in the middle of the newsroom that displayed individual reporter’s social media rankings.

It felt as if “Mean Girls” created a stock market ticker for my worth as a writer.

We lived and died by metrics — basically how many people clicked on your stories and how long they read them.

The bosses gave reporters quarterly metrics goals. The goals increased each quarter. I rarely made my goal.

Sports stories always scored well. Salacious crime drew eyeballs. Entertainment such as frou-frou food and craft beer lit up the board.

My column? Not so much.

I cracked up twice under this system. I took time away to recover from bouts of major depression during which I was suicidal.

Why couldn’t I connect with readers? Why wasn’t I good enough? Why was I failing?

I became bitter and cold. I hated my job. I hated the people I worked with. I hated other reporters who somehow figured out how to get the metrics pinball machine to light up when I could not.

And I hated myself for not being strong enough to separate my identity from my job.

Most of all, I hated myself for not having the guts to quit.

Eventually the bosses took my column away and made me a storyteller. That’s corporate journalism terminology for “reporter who writes long stories.”

Sometimes those stories did well. They often did not. The trouble with long stories is they take even longer to report and write.

When a big story flopped, I felt even more pressure to make the next story a big metrics winner.

I felt like mob hitmen pressed .45s into each of my temples while they fitted my feet for cement shoes.

My mental and physical health deteriorated.

And, finally, my job was cut.

I was devastated.

But it’s been four months now.

I see how my life mirrored the “Black Mirror” episode. I was Lacie — desperate for better ratings. I stopped being myself and tried to be what people wanted.

The experience nearly broke me.

But now things are better.

I’m free to write about whatever I want. I don’t fight the metrics machine anymore. My friend Memphis Paul and I make podcasts once a week. About 50 people download it. Great!

We record because it’s fun for two old friends to crack jokes and chat. I learned how to do basic podcast editing; a skill that might come in handy.

I keep writing my column in this blog. People like it. (Financial contributions welcome and appreciated!)

I’m broke. So what? I scrape by on unemployment. I attend graduate school.

I am going to be a teacher, English and journalism.

What I endured the last few years informs how I will approach my relationship with my students.

They will never be just a collection of numbers — test scores and gradebook points — to me. They will always be fellow humans engaged in the daily struggle to survive a world desperate to rate everyone on everything.

I will always treat them with love, dignity and respect.

That’s the only metric that matters.

Daniel P. Finney has a head that is too small for the rest of his body.

Cut loose and cashiered by corporate media, lone paragraph stacker Daniel P. Finney makes his way telling stories about his city, state and nation. No more metrics or Google trends, he writes stories about people and life ignored by the oligarchy.

ParagraphStacker.com is free, reader-supported media. Please consider donating to help me cover personal expenses as I launch this new venture continuing the journalism you’ve demanded. Visit paypal.me/paragraphstacker.

8 thoughts on “How an episode of ‘Black Mirror’ explained the end of my career in journalism

  1. Kathy says:

    I disagree with your bosses at the DM Register. I have always liked your columns and many of my friends did too. We often talked about what you had written, and I can honestly say we didn’t talk about other columns.
    It is sad to me that the DM Register has spiraled downward and after 40+ years of having it delivered to my home.
    I do read it on-line a couple times a week but it isn’t the same…

    Like

    1. I just want to emphasize that the bosses pulled the plug on a column that did not get web traffic. This would have happened almost anywhere. The industry as a whole, not just one place, is struggling.

      Like

  2. David Hubbard says:

    OOD MORNING.WOW.gOOD COLUMN. nEW TO ME. i NEVERNHEARD OF THE METRICS. wHAT YOU HAD–IT WAS NOT JOURNALISM. tHAT WAS PURE GARBAGE, gLAD YOUR GONE FROM THAT. tHE CHECK POINT SYSTEM.aLMOST SOUNDS PINK—-WHAT IS THE NEXT MOVE….tOO BAD YOU DIDNT HAVE A POCKET OF POINTS TO TRADE OR SELL TO FELLOW WRITERS…iT WILL COME DOWN TO THEM ALL.tHEY SHOW YOU THE DOOR BASED ON POINTS. hOW MUCH IS THE DOOR WORTH THESE DAYS THERE?iT SOUNDS LIKE A PITCH i NEVER HAVE BEFORE SEEN…bAD MEDICINE PLACE.tELL THEM GO JUMP IN THE LAKE.iT SOUNDS LIKE A PURE JOKE…wHAT WOULD gEORGE oRWELL THINK OF IT. pERHAPS…O ITS STILL LOCK THE DOOR AND THROW THE KEYS AWAY TIME. oNE BAD CHAPTER OR TWO. tHEY FACE TOTAL KAOS NOW.tHE NEWS OF THE DAY WITH PENING POLITICS./WHO WANTS THAT CRAP//SMELLS..tHANKS. i APPREICATE THIS STORY.iNSIDER.tHEY WILL MAKE NEWBYS SIGN NON COMMENTS OR GAG RULES NOW. wELL EVER CONSIDER STARTING A NEWSPAPER. …oK BACK TO CLASS.bETTER MAN NOW dAN…tHANKS…MORE TO COME…..

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  3. droll53 says:

    I really like your writing lately. I am sorry traditional journalism went in such a downward direction. I am cancelling my print subscription to the former paper; although I will maintain the electronic edition. Another tragedy because I know the printing industry is also going away. These are people who need a job as much as all of us. (A non-sequitor: Jeremy Rifkin writes about job evolution or Entropy and the loss of work.) Who knew social media would turn out to be some kind of measuring stick of success. Maybe “a ruler used to amputate the digits of the non-participatory journalist into a bloody mass of useless keystrokes” would be more apt? I used Usenet Newsgroups and it was never like this. Good morning to you; enjoy your classes!

    Like

  4. Joyce says:

    Another of your great writings with a lesson “be yourself – no one does it better.”
    Thank you.

    Like

  5. rgergely says:

    You will be a GREAT teacher!!

    I have a story suggestions for you–not in line with current posts, but something that may intrigue you. And you may have access to resourses to explain this. Now that data is updated continuously on Iowa’s COVID-19 dashboards, some people feel compelled to look at it on their phones every 15-30 minutes whenever they can. I’m an independent data tracker re: COVID-19, and once a day is plenty for me. I got some pushback when I told these people in a Facebook discussion that they were obsessed or addicted. As I said, just a suggestion. No offense take if you decide not to pursue.

    Like

    1. I think people should set their own limits. With push notifications and real-time stats, I think too many of us set our levels at Mr. Creosote from “Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.”

      Like

  6. rflaspohler says:

    Another great read. Keep it coming

    Like

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