The Paragraph Stacker

Uncensored columns from an exiled newsmane

From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa.

ITEM ONE: In a Hot Sheet Investigative Report Exclusive, the mystery of Grandma Margaret is solved. Earlier this week, the typist’s grandmother, Lois Newcomb, died at 92. The ol’ Paragraph Stacker was surprised to learn from her obituary that Lois’ first name was really Margaret. The typist has been a part of Lois’ family for nearly 30 years and this never came up. Mom 2.0, the kindly east Des Moines hairdresser who raised the typist after his parents died, broke the story: Lois Newcomb was born the daughter of Clarence and Marjorie Tyrrel in November 1927. Clarence declared that his daughter would be called Lois because, “If we call her Margaret, somebody is going to start calling her ‘Maggie’ and I don’t want a daughter named ‘Maggie.’”

ITEM TWO: Many of us sing in the shower, but how many of us practice choir in the pool? COVID-19 put the kibosh on indoor choir practice for teacher Mark Potvin and his Luther College vocalists at one of the nation’s largest vocal music colleges. Potvin spotted the city pool being drained for the winter, secured permission from city offical’s and KCRG-TV reports Luther’s five choirs now rehearse off the deep end.

ITEM THREE: Gov. Kim Reynolds refuses to issue a statewide mask order to prevent the spread of COVID-19 despite recommendations from the White House, where her pal President Donald Trump lives, reports WOI-TV. Nearly half of the more than 1,200 Iowans who have died from COVID-19 lived in nursing homes. A public mask mandate could help slow the outbreak, but about the only time Reynolds will be willing to order mask wearing is on Beggars’ Night and Halloween — which will likely be cancelled because of the virus.

ITEM FOUR: Hot Sheet recommends they Netflix documentary “The Social Dilemma.” The feature includes voices from a slew of former engineers and executives from Google, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest all with a paranoia-inducing message: Social media “uses your own psychology against you,” as one engineer put it, and has the power to shred not only the American democracy, but the fabric of society. “Fake news” makes money and there’s no market for the truth. Nobody trusts anybody. It’s as bleak a movie I’ve seen since “The Road” with the added terror that it is happening in real-time before our eyes. The most horrifying stat: Computing power doubles every two two years, but the human brain has not evolved at all.”

ITEM FIVE: Krause Group, owners of the $2.8-billion Kum & Go gas and convenience store chain, added the controlling interest of an Italian soccer team, Forbes reports. Iowa’s soccer super fan Kyle Krause, CEO of the company that bears his name, bought 90% interest in Parma Calcio 1913, a lower division Italian team valued at about $100 million. Krause owns the Des Moines Menace soccer team and has backed soccer for youth and adults in Iowa and beyond for decades. He promoted a USL Championship team to Des Moines and build a stadium downtown. Krause, who of Italian decent on his mother’s side of the family, owns a home in Italy about two hours away from Parma. The typist is not a big soccer fan, but his bemused by the idea of Parma players running about the pitch with Kum & Go emblazoned on their chest in maroon and white.

ITEM LAST: The typist is no longer a gambling man, but if he were, he wouldn’t take Iowa State this Saturday. For one thing, they’re not playing and for another, they’ll probably find a way to screw that up, too.

OK. We can close the book on this one. Donate if you can. It really helps. As always, behave and be kind.

Daniel P. Finney shops at Thornton Melon’s Tall and Fat Store.

Cut loose and cashiered by corporate media, lone paragraph stacker Daniel P. Finney makes his way telling stories about his city, state and nation. No more metrics or Google trends, he writes stories about people and life ignored by the oligarchy.

ParagraphStacker.com is free, reader-supported media. Please consider donating to help me cover personal expenses as I launch this new venture continuing the journalism you’ve demanded. Visit paypal.me/paragraphstacker.

One thought on “HOT SHEET: Mystery of Grandma Margaret solved, we know when Reynolds will endorse masks, and the singularity looms in new Netflix doc

  1. David Hubbard says:

    Hello.First-our sympathies on the death of great grand mother.God calls when he is ready…The whole world is wondering what out Lady Kims formula is for mask with holdins out…How is school going….Yes the music people every where are faced with challenges to sing and learn this year.Many school plays are being moved up tospring time.And how will Iowa All State music do it this year…Tryouts soon coming…So will let you go.Continue.Thank you much.. The passing of Suprmeme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg—has me wondering…will it be TV coverage like the pssing of the POPE in Rome. Pretty somber and dignified.Will see. Mrs.Ginsburg was of the Jewish faith..Room in nHeaven for sure.

    Like

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