HOT SHEET: Finney’s 9-point post-election analysis

From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa.

ITEM FIRST: So, the election is over. Everything is good right?

ITEM TWO: Checks Twitter and the news.

ITEM LAST: OK, then. We’ll try again tomorrow.

Daniel P. Finney is “about as funny as a pimple on a clown’s ass.” — Lewis H. Jordan, 1990

Published by Daniel P. Finney

Daniel P. Finney is a professional paragraph stacker who grew up in Winterset and Des Moines, Iowa. The local newspaper paid him $25 for his first story when he was 17. He has typed for cash ever since. He is a flawed human trying to be a little less Incredible Hulk and a little more Mr. Rogers.

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