The Paragraph Stacker

Uncensored columns from an exiled newsmane

Friday, Oct. 23, 2020 From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa. ITEM ONE: Netflix released the third season of “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman” earlier this week — and goodness, it is good to see Dave again, even if this series …

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Monday, Oct. 19, 2020 From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa. ITEM ONE: At about 11:45 a.m., the National Weather Service in Johnston sent out a warning of a “snow squall” in central Iowa. The bureau predicted hazardous driving conditions for the next hour — …

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Sunday, Oct. 18, 2020 From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa. ITEM ONE: Coca-Cola Co. announced the discontinuation of diet pop pioneer and 1970s phenomena Tab Cola. The typist pictures a Coke exec going into a wood-paneled room with a sunken seating area and wall-to-wall …

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Saturday, Oct. 17, 2020 From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa. ITEM ONE: Drake University student Morgan Carroll suffered severe injuries in a collision between her car and a semi on Monday evening. The crash occurred on Interstate 80/35 west/southbound lanes between Hickman Road and …

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Wednesday, Oct. 14, 2020 From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station. ITEM ONE: Terrible news from the bar at Jethro’s on Forest Avenue near Drake University: The restaurant is closing on Mondays and Tuesdays for at least six weeks. Insiders tell the typist the restaurant has a steady …

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Sunday, Oct. 11, 2020 From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa. ITEM ONE: The Senate race between incumbent Republican Joni Ernst and Democratic challenger Theresa Greenfield could decide the balance of power in the Senate, per CNBC. The campaign packed in the usual cartoonish bitterness. …

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Friday, Oct. 9, 2020 From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa. ITEM ONE: The age of robocalls makes the typist nostalgic for old Bell hard plastic telephones that could be smashed into the cradle with a frightening level of aggression. Somehow even the most fervent …

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Tuesday, Oct. 6, 2020 From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa. ITEM ONE: Remember when everyone thought COVID-19 could be defeated by hoarding toilet paper? The typist just cracked the plastic on the first roll of TP he bought in the hoarding phase in March.  ITEM …

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Saturday, Oct. 3, 2020 From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa. ITEM ONE: President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump both tested positive for COVID-19. The president received oxygen treatments before he flew to Walter Reed hospital aboard Marine One. I dislike the president …

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