des moines, humor, Iowa, Media, News, Podcasts, politics, sports

HOT SHEET: Nobody cares what I have to say about the #election2020, but I’m saying it anyway

From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Station, Des Moines, Iowa.

ITEM FIRST: Nobody cares what the typist thinks about the presidential election, but he’s going to talk about it anyway. The ol’ Paragraph Stacker is happy that Joe Biden won the presidency. Donald Trump is a horrible human being who embodied the worst traits of this country and forever lowered the standard of person it takes to occupy the Oval Office. The typist struggles to understand how his fellow Iowans voted so heavily in favor of this person who in every way refutes the image of kindly neighbors Iowans have always sought to project. He will struggle with this as he continues to move forward with life.

ITEM SECOND: Iowa political historians should study the campaign of Theresa Greenfield for the Senate because it was hysterically poor from its media standpoint. If you watched Greenfield’s ads — and if you watched a sporting event live since September, you couldn’t have missed them — her entire campaign centered around how her husband died in a work accident, he once owned a Chevy Nova, she played high school basketball and, most embarrassing of all, she has a twin who thinks her sister would be a good senator. These saccharine confections are the kinds of things that win middle school class presidencies, but not U.S. Senate campaigns. Whoever managed her media campaign should go into hiding for a while.

Even the dark money groups trying to help Greenfield fumbled. They took shots at Sen. Joni Ernst, Iowa’s Dollar Store Sarah Palin, because she — GASP! — lives in a $400,000 condo in Washington, D.C. The typist is not one to defend Ernst, but she does work in D.C. and a $400k condo in D.C. is a cheap hole-in-the-wall, not a swank luxury pad. Trying to go after someone for daring to have a residence in D.C. when they’re a senator is almost as dumb as filming an ad with your twin sister and expecting voters to give a flip about it.

ITEM THREE: If anyone is fool enough to think Joe Biden’s presumptive election to the presidency settles anything consider the following: This election was so close it took almost five days to figure out and there are still court cases to go through.

And then consider the cool, calm and even-handed response from the College Republicans at Iowa State, which tweeted “Everybody needs to arm up, expect these people to attempt to destroy your life, the elites want revenge on us.”

The typist won’t bother to try to figure out how Donald Trump, a billionaire by inheritance, con man, philanderer and failure at everything but being a reality TV host, somehow became an avatar for the downtrodden and disrespected.

It does remind the ol’ Paragraph Stacker of how foolish the notion that dangerous and horrible ideologies will not die out generationally.

ITEM FOUR: Withheld to give everybody a chance to count to 10 and settle down.

ITEM FIVE: The Hawkeyes and Cyclones were both winners Saturday. Iowa stomped Michigan State. It’s always fun to see Sparty lose. The Cyclones almost laid an egg against Baylor, but scored 28 unanswered points to earn their fifth win of the season. Iowa State is now 5-1 in the Big 12, the best record in program history and making the Cyclones real contenders for the league title. The ol’ Paragraph Stacker mocked this idea at the beginning of the season, but what the hell does he know?

ITEM SIX: Watch David Chappelle opening monologue on “Saturday Night Live.” I can imagine no better thing to see, laugh at and think about than this.

Daniel P. Finney is still optimistic enough to believe he may one day be in a torrid affair with a celebrity.

ParagraphStacker.com is free, reader-supported media. Please consider donating to help me cover personal expenses as I continue writing while I pursue my master’s degree and teacher certification. Visit paypal.me/paragraphstacker.

Podcasts, Pop Culture, TV

PODCAST: The Karens have taken over TikTok

What happens when robots take over drug dealing and other questions for our time? Talking Paragraphs

Dan and Paul have the exclusive last take on the NFL Draft; Paul suffers ill affects of second vaccine shot and the alcoholic beverage of the week. — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/talkingparagraphs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/talkingparagraphs/support
  1. What happens when robots take over drug dealing and other questions for our time?
  2. Outdated takes discussed without urgency
  3. #ChickenWars claims two more casualties
  4. This podcast so interesting one of the hosts fell asleep
  5. Talking Paragraphs: SPRING SPECIAL — Cremation, Easter Candy and baseball
Crime and Courts, Media, Movies, News, Podcasts, Pop Culture, sports, TV

TALKING PARAGRAPHS: Memphis Paul returns after brush with terror

What happens when robots take over drug dealing and other questions for our time? Talking Paragraphs

Dan and Paul have the exclusive last take on the NFL Draft; Paul suffers ill affects of second vaccine shot and the alcoholic beverage of the week. — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/talkingparagraphs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/talkingparagraphs/support
  1. What happens when robots take over drug dealing and other questions for our time?
  2. Outdated takes discussed without urgency
  3. #ChickenWars claims two more casualties
  4. This podcast so interesting one of the hosts fell asleep
  5. Talking Paragraphs: SPRING SPECIAL — Cremation, Easter Candy and baseball
humor, People, Podcasts, Pop Culture, sports

The new Talking Paragraphs podcast is out

What happens when robots take over drug dealing and other questions for our time? Talking Paragraphs

Dan and Paul have the exclusive last take on the NFL Draft; Paul suffers ill affects of second vaccine shot and the alcoholic beverage of the week. — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/talkingparagraphs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/talkingparagraphs/support
  1. What happens when robots take over drug dealing and other questions for our time?
  2. Outdated takes discussed without urgency
  3. #ChickenWars claims two more casualties
  4. This podcast so interesting one of the hosts fell asleep
  5. Talking Paragraphs: SPRING SPECIAL — Cremation, Easter Candy and baseball
Crime and Courts, des moines, humor, Podcasts, Pop Culture, sports

HOT SHEETS: Podcast cancelled, but there’s a new podcast and some guy in Florida stole cat blood

Saturday, Sept. 26, 2020

From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa.

ITEM ONE: The Exile podcast is cancelled as part of a cost-cutting move at ParagraphStacker.com. The service the typist used to host his podcast charged a monthly fee. The typist has focused all financial resources on basic needs and graduate school.

ITEM TWO: ParagraphStacker.com and the typist’s almost daily updates are not going anywhere. The costs for a personalized URL are relatively cheap on an annual basis and, to be honest, the typist enjoys writing without corporate masters constantly steering his words toward the gross trickery and pandering of the algorithm-driven society that’s devouring itself in tribalism.

ITEM THREE: The Exile is dead. Long live Talking Paragraphs with Dan and Paul. The typist will continue podcasting through the hosting service Anchor.fm. They host for free. They place some ads and other branding on the material the typist creates, but it’s a worthy trade for reduction in expenses. Most podcasts will be cohosted with the ol’ Paragraph Stacker’s college buddy, Memphis Paul, known to millions of adoring fans as the Sultan of Spreadsheets, joining us via the miracle of modern technology.

ITEM FOUR: Item Four remains under COVID-19 quarantine.

ITEM FIVE: Item Five has voluntarily entered a rehab facility and due to employee confidentiality rules, the typist has no comment.

ITEM SIX: Sheriff’s deputies in St. Augustine, Florida, (where else) seek a man caught on video stealing cat’s blood from a veterinary clinic, per the Associated Press. In other news, the Florida legislature officially applied to have the meaning of the common abbreviation WTF to be changed from “what the fuck” to “what the Florida.”

ITEM LAST: A kind reader from Story City wrote a letter of support and asked that the typist not be so hard on President Donald Trump. “We may not like him, but I respect the office,” she wrote. The reader and the typist agree in principle, but in practice, the typist will start respecting the office again when the person who occupies it acts in a way that deserves it.

OK, let’s close the book on this one. Go forth and watch football. Donate if you can and thanks to those who have. Look for a new podcast later today.

Behave and be kind.

Someday the mountain may get Daniel P. Finney, but the law never will.

Cut loose and cashiered by corporate media, lone paragraph stacker Daniel P. Finney makes his way telling stories about his city, state and nation. No more metrics or Google trends, he writes stories about people and life ignored by the oligarchy.

ParagraphStacker.com is free, reader-supported media. Please consider donating to help me cover personal expenses as I launch this new venture continuing the journalism you’ve demanded. Visit paypal.me/paragraphstacker.