The Paragraph Stacker

Uncensored columns from an exiled newsmane

Sunday, Oct. 25, 2020 From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa. ITEM ONE: The typist slumped into his over-stuffed recliner shortly after 2:30 p.m. Saturday with the idea of flipping between the Iowa State vs. Oklahoma State game and the Iowa vs. Purdue game. The …

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Sunday, Oct. 11, 2020 From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Neighborhood Station, Des Moines, Iowa. ITEM ONE: The Senate race between incumbent Republican Joni Ernst and Democratic challenger Theresa Greenfield could decide the balance of power in the Senate, per CNBC. The campaign packed in the usual cartoonish bitterness. …

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ITEM ONE: Behold the power of reverse psychology: Hot Sheet predicted doom for the Chicago Bears vs. the Detroit Lions on Sunday at Ford’s Field. Hark! T’was but a ruse! They typist’s faux bad juju produced a dramatic come-from-behind win for the Monsters of the Midway led by none other than the much-maligned Mitchell Trubisky. …

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From the desk of Daniel P. Finney, sergeant of the watch, Drake Precinct Station. ITEM ONE: Update on #OldManStudent. The ol’ Paragraph Stacker takes all his classes online via Zoom meetings at Drake University. This format works better than anticipated, but there are pitfalls. Example: Your typist’s bathroom is about 12 feet from his computer. …

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I thought the apocalypse would be faster.The Death Star shows up in orbit and “BOOM.”The deity returns. The faithful rapture. The sinners burn.Thanos collects the infinity stones. Snap. Half the universe turns to dust. But 2020 indicates an apocalypse is merely a steadily increasing series of indignities ultimately ending in madness. The latest example of …

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