The Paragraph Stacker

Talking Paragraphs No. 126: Dan and Paul talk ‘Chinese Born American,’ lifesize Hot Wheels, and not putting foie gras in your coffee

126: Dan and Paul talk 'Chinese Born American,' lifesize Hot Wheels, the meaning of onomatopoeia, and not putting foie gras in your coffee – Talking Paragraphs

In 1972, Dan and Paul were sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped into the void between Des Moines and Memphis. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as podcasters of fortune. If need to listen to a podcast — and no other, better podcast is available — maybe you can listen to "Talking Paragraphs." — Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talkingparagraphs/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talkingparagraphs/support

In 1972, Dan and Paul were sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped into the void between Des Moines and Memphis. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as podcasters of fortune. If need to listen to a podcast — and no other, better podcast is available — maybe you can listen to “Talking Paragraphs.”

Daniel P. Finney wrote for newspapers for 27 years before being laid off in 2020. He teaches middle school English now. He writes columns and podcasts for ParagraphStacker.com, a free, reader-supported website. Please consider donating $10 a month to help him cover the expenses of this site.
Post: 1217 24th St., Apt. 36, Des Moines, 50311.
Zelle: newsmanone@gmail.com.
Venmo: @newsmanone.
PayPal: paypal.me/paragraphstacker.

Living with anxiety: Smoothies help, but the ears of a good friend make for the best medicine

“I’m having a bad day,” I complained to my friend Memphis Paul, my friend and co-host of our mildly successful podcast “Talking Paragraphs.”

I had him on speakerphone as I went through a drive-through window. I ordered a strawberry-banana smoothie. It’s one of those beverages that sounds healthier than it really is. I ordered it anyway.

My brain is in knots, I explained to Paul. Sunday night, I became obsessed with something and my brain wouldn’t let it go until almost 8 a.m. I ended up taking a sick day.

The obsession was a paperback book. I wanted to read a few chapters before I nodded off. I couldn’t find it. I tore up the apartment. I looked in all the usual spots. I finally found it wedged between my mattress and the wall. By the time I found it, my heart was racing and I was so angry I could have chewed nails.

I was in the midst of a panic attack. I didn’t recognize it. I was slow to take my medicine to abate the symptoms. And thus I ended up tossing and turning and staring at the ceiling until it was almost time for work.

The causes are varied and complex. The bottom line is sometimes my brain doesn’t work the way it should and the emotions I’m feeling don’t match with the reality I’m living.

I tried to regroup during the day. Then a malingering depression settled in like a thunderstorm. All the usual thoughts — how worthless I am, how stupid I am, how poor a human being I am — rattled my brain.

Finally, I managed to rise from bed and go out for some food, including the aforementioned smoothie.

Paul, my good friend, listened as he usually does.

He replied in his mild Tennessee drawl. He recalled an incident a week or so ago when I had him on speakerphone in the car.

I spilled my smoothie on the passenger-side mat. I cursed as I beat the mat against a tree to get the milk and ice off the rubber surface.

Paul then asked me, “Did you manage to get inside your apartment with your strawberry banana drink?”

In fact, I did, I replied.

“Well,” he said, “that is progress.”

I love my friends.

Talking Paragraphs Podcast No. 125: Pete Davidson vs. Cocaine Bear; Bovine samaritans help cops capture a crook; What “faff” is and why you should embrace it; More Elvis employee buffet delights

126: Dan and Paul talk 'Chinese Born American,' lifesize Hot Wheels, the meaning of onomatopoeia, and not putting foie gras in your coffee – Talking Paragraphs

Welcome to Talking Paragraphs, the podcast that is so incoherent half of the people involved don’t remember its name.

Topics that we at least intended to discuss:

The meaning of “faff” and why you should embrace it.
Pete Davidson vs. Cocaine Bear
~~Phone answer etiquette for clones.~~
We can’t talk about “Relative Justice.”
We barely talk about “Hemlock Grove” on a new streaming service.
Cows help cops find suspects.
A lot of random memories from a college party nearly 30 years ago.
A story of stolen goats in Winterset in 1993.

Daniel P. Finney and Paul Russell have been friends for 30 years. Dan lives in Des Moines. Paul lives in Memphis. Through the miracle of technology, they unite each week to solve riddles left by madmen about Gotham City. You may love them. You may hate them. You may even fear them, but don’t you dare take them seriously.